female orgasm

The Female Orgasm & Remy Kassimir

How Cum’s super-sharp host gets intimate with gal pal

Almost 2 years ago, 28-year-old Remy Kassimir had never had an orgasm. Thanks to Sex And The City’s pretty unrealistic sex scenes, the stand-up comic thought she might never climax because “three pumps of a penis” didn’t have her screaming like Samantha Jones. Luckily, her mindset switched when she realised the only person who could figure out what she liked in the bedroom was herself – which is where her pleasure party began.

female orgasm
Remy Kessimir Shares Her Orgasm Journey

Thankfully for us, Remy documented her female orgasm journey through her very own podcast, How Cum. The straight-talking, sometimes-emotional and frankly fucking hilarious show explores some of the more intimate conversations surrounding sex. She welcomes experts, writers, activists, adult film stars, drag performers, and more, to reveal their first ever orgasms ~and~ set her steamy assignments to help her reach her goal.

Here, we chat to the trailblazing host of How Cum about appreciating your vagina, shocking sex stats and why it’s never okay to fake an orgasm.

Best piece of sex advice you’ve ever been given?

To figure MYSELF out and get to know my body. For some reason I always thought guys were the ones who were good at sex and knew what to do and that I should just let them try a bunch of stuff and maybe I’ll like it eventually. NO! The only person who can tell what my body wants is me and so by learning how to masturbate myself and knowing how to make things work for me, I know how to voice them to my boyfriend so that he can actually learn what I like vs what he thinks I may like.

Biggest lesson you’ve learnt since starting How Cum?

Communication is key. Whether it is in the bedroom telling someone to move a little to the left or asking your friends if they masturbate too; you have to talk to other people. I used to get really caught up in my head wondering if things were normal or weird and being disappointed sexually because I couldn’t speak up. No one is a mind reader and everyone needs advice.

Most eye-opening guest and why?

One of our more recent guest Buck Angel is a trans activist, film maker, and adult film star. He has dubbed himself “a man with a pussy,” and that’s what he is. He taught me so much about Trans male identity and how you can be a man, but also appreciate your vagina and not want bottom surgery. Buck started his life like so many of us hating his vagina, and now embraces it more than anyone. It was super eye opening because most of us are raised thinking vaginas are gross or dirty and we live in a culture with so much penis envy. Completely changed my mind.

Biggest sex misconception out there in popular culture?

The female orgasm happens from 3 pumps of a penis. YA RIGHT. I used to think I couldn’t cum because I wasn’t screaming in three seconds from insertion like Samantha Jones. Most orgasms do not occur internally but require external clitoral stimulation. And it takes a little more time.

Most shocking sex statistic you’ve learnt?

Only 8-15% of women can cum from ONLY internal stimulation.

Tell us about your first orgasm and how it happened

February 22, 2018. I had heard about the Womanizer from a friend who said it was orgasm guaranteed. I’d figured out from my previous podcast episodes that I would probably be a squirter. So I set the stage, I put down a towel, and I turned on Rihanna VERY loud in case my grandma (who I live with) was in the house. She was, and she called my name, and I told her to go in her room. Then I went back into mine, put the toy on, and within 30 seconds I squirted! But I wasn’t fully sure that I came and so I took it to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror like, “dont give up!” turned the toy setting up and came like 4 times while wiggling around on the bathroom floor. Then I cried. I was half excited and half worried that I would have to end the podcast.

What erogenous zones get you going?

I love side of boob stroking and back tickles!

What’s your stance on ‘faking it’?

Don’t do it. It’s not helping anyone! It makes them think they’re great when they’re not being great. You’re not benefitting, they’re not benefitting, and neither is the next person they’re hooking up with. It’s a never ending chain!

What would you say to someone who has never orgasmed?

Don’t worry, just because you haven’t, doesn’t mean you can’t! Listen to my podcast and try the assignments that helped me.

What do you want to say to all the sexual partners out there?

Ask questions of your partners, ask them what they like! Listen to the pod together to get some ideas. And tell people you WANT to get them off and that it excites you. A lot of women think their partners don’t care and it is very nice to hear when they do.

Listen to Remy’s super-addictive podcast, How Cum, right here. You won’t regret it, promise.

Written by Claire Blackmore, @cla_ireb

a gynaecologist answers your sex questions

A gynaecologist answers all of your sex questions

A gynaecologist answers all of your sex questions

from facts about the G spot, to painful penetration

“The first thing to mention is that no vulva is the same,” says Dr Shirin.  “There is no one right way for a vulva (female genitalia) to look, which also means that there’s no such thing as a perfect one.”

Phew, right? Turns out there are plenty of beautiful differences. “The labia, or lips—which vary from person to person—seem to be under the greatest scrutiny by my patients. The fact is that the two lips of the vulva are not identical on the same person. Just as our two eyes are not the same size, our ears, breasts, and lips of our labia are neither identical nor symmetrical.
“Labia minora (the smaller, inner lips that surround the vaginal opening) come in a whole range of different lengths from woman to woman. And there is often a significant difference between the left and right labia minora, so it’s completely normal if yours are different sizes.

The Great Wall of Vagina by Jamie McCartney

“Both the clitoris and the labia majora also both vary broadly in size and of course, your vagina’s width and length adjust during intercourse and birth.”

If you are feeling self-conscious, however, there’s no shame in visiting your GP. “If someone has a genuine problem, whether that is how they feel about the appearance of their labia, the laxity or stress-urinary incontinence, then there are a number of treatments available which can offer a real solution for this.”

What is healthy discharge, and what is unhealthy?

Now you know what a healthy vulva looks like, what about the stuff that comes out of it? Dr Shirin says: “Your vagina has a dynamic and finely tuned ecosystem. It includes a specific balance of bacteria, pH and moisture. This balance is sensitive to changes, from within and outside your body, and it doesn’t always take much to throw it off.

“It’s normal to notice different types of fluid throughout your cycle—fluid changes cyclically along with your hormones, in appearance, consistency and volume. It also changes when you’re aroused and during and after pregnancy.”

So when do you need to visit your gynae? “Significant or sudden changes in the smell, colour or consistency of your fluid might mean something else is going on, like an infection that needs treatment.”

Why have I lost my sex drive?

It’s pretty common for people to lose their libido at some point during their lives, but that doesn’t mean their sex life is doomed.

Dr Shirin explains: “There are essentially two reasons why we lose sexual desire: a lack of psychological desire for sex or a lack of a physical response to sexual stimulation. Speak to a doctor to confirm that there are no underlying conditions and then work with your partner to find out what works for you.”

Turns out self-esteem plays a huge part, too. She says: “Being comfortable in your own skin is a major factor to promoting sexual health. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about body confidence, good health and communication with your partner.”

And remember, if you’re struggling with your sexual desire, reach out and reclaim it. “Speak to other women, speak to your doctor and don’t suffer with anything in silence.”

Written by Claire Blackmore, @cla_ireb

what it feels like to masturbate as a trans woman

What it feels like to masturbate as a trans woman

What it feels like to masturbate as a trans woman

Writer Ana Valens gets intimate with gal pal about her ever-changing orgasms

Pleasure comes in so many beautiful forms, but for people that have, or are currently transitioning, it’s not as simple as a quick whizz with a sex toy – it’s a journey of self-discovery. One that can take time, focus and a whole new approach, according to Brooklyn-based writer Ana Valens. Here, she opens up about her experiences of masturbating as a trans woman, from how HRT has affected her sensations to the techniques that make her orgasm.

How have your orgasms changed before, during and after taking hormones?

My orgasms have changed a lot! Before hormones, they were strong but abrupt. I’d feel muscles contract in a pleasurable release in my pelvis, then they would disappear quickly as a mixture of relief and dysphoria as arousal washed through me (and out of me).

On HRT, orgasms are like a wave of pleasure, starting at my crotch and flowing through my body. When I come, I begin to quiver, and when I’m orgasming, my body thrashes around. I literally can’t control it. Afterwards, all that pleasure stays in my body, calming me down or even putting me to sleep. I like to describe it as an “afterglow” that lingers inside me.

Sometimes I can orgasm multiple times in a row, too, whereas there would be a refractory period before HRT – i.e. if I’m focused and in the right mindset, I can come again in an even deeper and more pleasurable wave. I’ve orgasmed as much as two or three times, one after another within an hour, and it’s incredibly intense.

Do different parts of your body have different sensations now?

Yes, definitely so! My body has become much more sensitive, specifically around my back and shoulders. When my play partners run their fingers across my sides or back, I start to squirm if they go too slowly. I never, ever had that experience before HRT. My breasts are also much more sensitive, to the point where just cupping them or fingering my nipples can be a huge turn on if I’m in the right mood.

How have your genitals changed?

It’s interesting as the changes are complicated. For one, just like the rest of my body, my penis (or “clit,” as I like to call it) is a lot softer now. It’s very sensitive to the touch and cannot sustain as much pressure or force. I can’t just jerk my bits up and down until I orgasm like I used to. I need to be really in tune with my body, how my genitals feel, how they want to be played with. During oral sex, for example, sucking motions are a total no-go, it becomes too painful too quickly.

I never have full erections any more, either. While I will get longer and slightly erect when I’m turned on from time to time, perhaps enough for penetrative sex, I simply cannot reach the full size/form that I used to before going on oestrogen. I’m perfectly fine with that, for the record. I think there’s something really attractive about trans women’s penises, how they’re both soft and delicate, yet prone to showing one’s arousal through growth and a slight hardening.


Some trans women experience a slight atrophy with their penises after being on oestrogen for a prolonged period of time. That makes sense when you think about it: trans women on HRT are less likely to get random erections or become fully hard during the day while fantasizing, which means the penis will naturally shrink from relatively less use compared to, say, cis men on testosterone with a pretty active sex life. I suspect this has happened to me too – that is, I’ve shrunk slightly – but not by much. And it varies from person to person. I’ve been with trans women that have really small clits and others that are pretty big down there.

What stumbling blocks have you experienced when trying to reach orgasm?

I had to totally rethink the script about masturbating. Before HRT, I basically groped my penis and stroked it up and down until I came, even if I wasn’t in a very sexy mindset. Getting those few seconds of intense release from orgasming was the goal at all times. Now, headspace is everything. I really have to be ready, open, and connected with my body. I have to calm down, deprioritize orgasming as the end reward, and let my body lead the way and show me the signs. When I first started HRT, I didn’t realise all of that and assumed I could just touch my clit the same way I did pre-HRT. Basically I had to relearn how to masturbate from scratch.

What mental challenges have you faced when it comes to masturbation?

I’m a very anxious person by nature, in part because I have OCD and a form of traumatic stress disorder. So it can be very, very hard to calm my mind down and just be present. That’s honestly the biggest issue I have, and I’ve spent the past few years learning how to let go of my thinking and embrace my thoughts and feelings. It’s a work in progress, but mindfulness meditation helps a lot.

Otherwise, sometimes I become a little dysphoric during masturbation. But more than anything, the difference between a good masturbation session and a bad one is how willing I am to let go of my anxiety and just be present with myself, my body, and whatever sexual fantasy I’m having.

How about physical challenges?

The biggest challenge is just learning to listen to my body, manage expectations, and more intimately understand how my genitals work. Like I said earlier, I had to relearn how to play with my body. Learning more about the nerves inside and around my penis – and more specifically, why both the clit and the perineum should be touched during play, as they’re both connected to the same web of nerves – really changed a lot. For more info on that, Fucking Trans Women by Mira Bellwether is great.

Do your orgasms feel different, are they ever-evolving?

Hmm. I suspect the longer I’m HRT, the more powerful and intense they’re becoming. But I’m not quite sure. At most, I can definitely tell that my orgasms change based on how I masturbate, i.e. using a sex toy is a much more rewarding experience than lubing my clit and stroking myself until I climax.

What has surprised you about solo sex during your transition?

It demands your time and attention. All of it. You really can’t just mindlessly touch yourself until you orgasm. You have to be present with your body. Learning how to meditate and engage in mindfulness exercises helped me a lot in that regard. It basically taught me how to tune in to myself and figure out what I’m feeling and why.

Do you have a go-to way to masturbate now?

Admittedly, I’m still figuring it out. But my favourite so far is using a special masturbatory sleeve designed to stimulate the nerves within the penis, combined with a cock ring that stimulates both the base of the shaft and the perineum. Both amazing to orgasm with and just really pleasurable against my genitals.

Are there any toys/lubes/materials that have helped you?

I’m a big fan of water-based lube, which is affordable, easy to clean up, and means you don’t have to worry about damaging those nice silicone toys. I don’t really use it that often, though, unless a toy calls for it. Beyond that, I love kink, so anything related to BDSM helps a lot. Bondage tape, blindfolds, collars, just to name a few. That said, I’m more likely to use all of those things during sex as opposed to solo time.

What would you say to people going through what you went through? Any tips, words of encouragement, advice?

First off, I think it’s important to look at yourself in the mirror and really ask some difficult, introspective questions about your sex life. How do you think about sex? What do you want out of masturbating? Where is your head right now, and what can you do to change that? If you’re struggling to be present or enjoy yourself when you masturbate, then you may need to approach masturbation (and sex itself) in a new way. Therapy can help with that a lot, and there’s no shame in needing the guidance either.

Also, in my case, I had to mourn my relationship with masturbation pre-HRT. It was very easy and simple for me to orgasm, even if it made me feel dysphoric. When I first started HRT, I struggled to enjoy myself while masturbating, and I really wished I could experience that same easy release when I first transitioned. Now that I’ve been on HRT for a couple of years, I’ve put that part of my past behind me and embraced where I am now.

Now, I love masturbating on oestrogen a lot more than I ever did, it’s much more fun and rewarding because it feels right (and the changes to my body and orgasms are 1000x hotter to experience).


I cannot recommend meditation highly enough. In mindfulness meditation, we talk a lot about “beginner’s mind”. That is to say, approaching day-to-day life with a playful, open approach, instead of trying to rigidly control your thoughts and feelings. That definitely applies to masturbation too. Staying open-minded, listening to your body, and being unafraid to explore yourself in new ways will unlock a lot when it comes to your sex life. Don’t be afraid to try new things, as long as you feel ready to step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, a little push unlocks a lot of pleasure.

Oh, and before I forget: Have fun! Sex is amazing, as is masturbation. Take pride in having a body that you get to call your own and craft as your own, it’s a rare gift that not everyone gets.

You might also like:

Best sex toys for trans women

Why Can’t I Orgasm?

What it feels like to masturbate as a trans woman – written by Cla_ireb

Sex Toys Explained

Sex Toys Explained

from massagers and wands, to oral sex simulators – welcome to your pleasure guide

Whatever your gender, sexuality or anatomy, we can pretty much guarantee there’s a sex toy out there for you. Whether you love the intensity of a buzzing vibe, the fullness of a dildo or the suction of a sonic – it’s all down to pleasure preference. But with so many sex toys out there (like, a gazillion) where do you even start? In our handy guide below, we’ve laid out the basics.


Vibrators are sex toys that, simply, vibrate! Back in the 00s they all looked like penises, but the world of kink has moved on. These buzzing masturbation tools now come in all sorts of shapes and sizes with a whole range of power settings, from super-gentle to turbo-charged. Think bullets, rabbits, G-spot vibrators, hands-free and wearable vibes, eggs, wands, and even palm vibrators shaped like smooth massage stones.

Rocks Off Crimson Kiss Bullet Vibrator – £15.99

They can be used externally on the clitoris (probably the most common place), internally in the vagina or for anal play. So why are they so popular? Well, the vibrating sensation awakens the nerve endings, making it one of the easiest ways to orgasm.

Try Dame’s versatile vibrator, Fin, for some electric finger fun or invest in a long, smooth rocket like the Blush Novelties Nude Impressions Vibe, which doubles up as a strap-on.

Dame Products Fin Vibrator – £58


Now *technically* massagers – also known as wands – count as vibes, but we’ve singled them out because of the way they stimulate the erogenous zones. While most vibrators focus all their whizzing power on one specific target, these larger toys penetrate entire areas resulting in a different kind of climax altogether.

How? First up, they tend to vibrate at a lower frequency, meaning the sensation feels more like a rumble rather than a buzz. Second up, these old-school designs are usually shaped like microphones – soft, rounded tips, sometimes as big as tennis balls, supported by long, tapered handles – which literally massage whole sections of skin (think of all those hidden nerve endings in your clit!)

Try Svakom’s Mini Emma for a modern twist on the massager. Its flexi-head will stimulate you in all directions.

Svakom’s Mini Emma – £54.99


Dildos are sex toys that don’t vibrate. They essentially mimic an erect penis and are made for penetration during masturbation – or with a partner if you want to get spicy with a strap-on. The main deciding factors when shopping for one? Length, girth and feel. From long and thin to short and thick, silicone to glass, smooth to textured, there are so many options to try.

This might not be the best option if you find it hard to climax through penetration alone, but dildos can feel great as part of a blended orgasm. That being said, if your G-spot is your best friend, they will change your solo sex life forever. Don’t forgot: all dildos can be used inside the vagina, but only some are safe for anal penetration. Look out for ones that have a flared base to stop them slipping up your butt!

Try the Blush Novelties Nude Ergo, which features an amazing suction cup for shower fun. Plus, it’s harness compatible.

Blush Novelties Nude Ergo – £25.99

Clit suction toys

Oral sex toys haven’t been on the scene that long, but they’ve already caused a storm among sex experts – not to mention countless orgasms. Unlike vibes and massagers, these sonic babies are all about suction instead of vibration, and work by creating airwaves around the clit that suck it upwards. Basically, they mimic the feeling of someone eating you out really damn well.

Most of the designs have heads like small mouths which engulf the clit and do the work for you. Literally, some of them you don’t even have to move. The feeling? Apparently it’s like a sex angel sucking out an orgasm from your very core. So if clit-stim is your failsafe way to climax, this sounds like the one for you.

Try Lelo’s best-selling Sona – a sleek design that stimulates 75% more of your clit and gets you there quickly.

Lelo Sona – was £119, now £63!

Sex toys are a fun addition to any sex life. Whether it’s for some alone time or with a partner(s), don’t be afraid to mix things up a little bit and try something new!

Written by Claire Blackmore, @cla_ireb 

Blush Novelties - Nude Ergo Dildo

why can't I orgasm

Why can't I orgasm?

Why can’t I orgasm?

From sex-ed to self-care, there are plenty reasons why

Find yourself faking orgasms because you can’t seem to reach that famous mind-blowing moment? You’re not alone. Multiple studies have found that roughly 80 per cent of women can’t orgasm through penetrative sex – at least not without a toy, finger or tongue. First things first: stimulate your clit in every which way to try and release that magical feeling.

If you’re not sure where to start, read our last blog gal pal’s guide to mind blowing masturbation for some great tips on how to achieve orgasm.. Getting to know yourself and your body is key to learning how to enjoy yourself during masturbation and sex – so it’s definitely worth a read.

However, if you already know that clit-stimulation doesn’t work, you could be one of the 10 to 15 per cent of women who can’t climax at all. And while orgasms shouldn’t always be the sole focus of sex – enjoyment comes in all kinds of forms, from human closeness to pleasurable touch – it’s super-frustrating when you’re struggling to find an end game at all.

So how come some women live in an orgasm-less void? Here, we explore a few of the reasons why it can be pretty damn hard to climax.


Ever heard of orgasmic dysfunction? It affects about one in three women to some extent. It means you are either having less frequent or less satisfying orgasms despite being ~in the mood~, or you aren’t having any orgasms at all. There are tons of things that can cause it, from hormones and illness to anxiety, which makes it tricky to treat. A study found that 24 per cent of the women suffering from orgasmic dysfunction have something called anorgasmia – difficulty achieving climax after ample sexual stimulation. So if you can’t reach the big O, it’s worth booking in some time with your GP to speak about why this might be.


Find it difficult to focus? Becoming distracted during sex and masturbation is another common reason why some women struggle to come. It could be that you’re self-conscious of your body, uninterested in your partner or just tuning out of the whole encounter because you believe it will bring you zero pleasure. The fact is, if your mind isn’t in it, your erogenous zones certainly won’t be. Your brain is a crucial part of sexual experience as it releases feel-good chemicals into the body, plus it actually catalogues your sensations. Not being tuned in to someone else’s touch lessens your pleasure, stat. Try meditation tactics to re-centre yourself such as focusing on being present in the moment and taking deep breaths from the pit of your stomach.


Don’t let your sex-mate skip the foreplay, not matter how keen they are to pleasure themselves. Remember: you are equal partners in this experience so don’t sacrifice your own O because you’re not sure it’s even possible. Sexoligists claim that most women need approx. 20 minutes of arousal time to reach that sweet point in which it’s even viable to climax. If there’s two of you, that’s 40 minutes of foreplay, no orgasms guaranteed. Turns out it’s all about time, care and attention, so demand it, because you deserve it. And if it doesn’t happen, at least you’ve gained some sexual balance.


You know the saying, ‘the wetter, the better’? Turns out it’s all kinds of true because roughly 40 per cent of women don’t produce enough of their own natural lube to find sex pleasurable. In fact the wrong combo of condoms, emotions and hormones can snatch your juice and leave you even dryer than when you started. It’s definitely worth giving lube a serious go – it could be the key to your first ever O! We stock Yes Lube – a silky water or oil-based lubricant that’s good for your body as well as your orgasm count (it’s vegan-friendly and organic, too). The wetter you are down below, the more sensitive you feel. It also helps toys and fingers glide over your hotspots with no uncomfortable friction.


It’s important to note that some medications – particularly those used to treat depression and anxiety (SSRIs) – can lesson arousal as they impact sex hormones. This could be why you’re suddenly having a dry spell or finding yourself unable to orgasm when it wasn’t a problem before. The best thing to do? Speak to your doctor. They can run through the side effects and, if the meds are affecting your orgasms, suggest some other avenues that might not crush your climax ability completely.

Written by Claire Blackmore, @cla_ireb

gal pal's guide to mind-blowing masturbation

gal pal’s guide to mind-blowing masturbation

Follow our solo sex tips for better play time

Keen to take your masturbation game up a notch? Whether you want to explore your body on a deeper level, improve your technique or give yourself your first ever orgasm, there are plenty of ways to satisfy yourself through solo sex.

But where to start? Despite recent research proving that many women enjoy private play just as much as men, it’s something we rarely talk about. A crazy notion considering that masturbation is not only great for sexual wellbeing, confidence and overall happiness but a crucial way to figure out what you like in the bedroom.

So if you’re lucky enough to know exactly what causes you to climax but want to discover more of those untapped sweetspots, or you’re not even sure where to start, follow gal pal’s tips to make the most of your steamy downtime.


Kickstart your next self-exploration session with an open mind. Forget how you’ve masturbated in the past, this time set off with a clean slate and focus on learning what you really like. Does your body respond to tickling, teasing, rubbing, stroking, pinching, twisting? Are you into anal play, penetration or clit stimulation (or all three)? What movements cause your stomach to swirl with pleasure? Is it side-to-side sweeps of the clit, come hither motions of the G-spot or a feeling of fullness in your butt?

The point is different people like different moves, locations and pressures – remember, sexual experiences are always unique – so take time to work out what gets you going and don’t be afraid to explore the places you’ve never been before.


There tends to be two camps when it comes to lube, people that are seriously into it and people that think it’s only to combat dryness. Newsflash: there’s no shame in whipping out the wet stuff. It can actually turn your pleasure sensors up to the max. Lube enhances sensations down below and allows a silky, frictionless glide that, frankly, feels amazing. If you’re a lube virgin, let it change your life.

We looked far and wide for the best lube to include on our website, and found ‘Yes Lube (vegan & organic)’ which uses pure plant gums to replace the usual glycerine or silicone ingredient base – avoiding all concerning chemical ingredients.

Water-based lube is a must for use with most sex toys. It won’t stain your bed sheets or warp your favourite vibrator and is condom safe too! Oil-based lube has a thicker consistency to water-based lube – making it more suitable for anal sex or for use underwater. We should point out that oil-based lubes are not suitable for use with condoms; however the Yes oil-based lube does double as a massage oil, and is good for your skin too – so no need to wash off!

Lube is definitely worth a try if you haven’t already – it could be the key to unlocking that next level of sexual pleasure!


If you haven’t already tried this tease technique, now is the time. ‘Edging’ is basically when you bring yourself to the brink of an orgasm but don’t let yourself climax. It’s tricky to exercise the self-control this tactic needs at first but trust us when we say it’s worth it. The sex trick intensifies orgasms, makes them last longer, and causes them to feel SO much sweeter when they finally explode inside you.

So lube up, get to know your ‘stop spot’ by experimenting with fingers and toys then halt right just before you tip over the edge. Repeat the process three or four times – or until you just can’t take it any longer – then let yourself go. You’ll notice stronger sensations almost instantly.


Sex toys can really turbocharge an orgasm so it’s definitely worth investing in a few – there’s nothing quite like the pressure of a rumbling vibrator in the place that makes your legs weak. Designed for both external and internal stimulation, gal pal has a thrilling selection to explore.

If awakening your clit is top of your solo sex list, try Lelo’s Ora II – a toy that rotates and pulsates, like a tongue, but better. Or Svakom’s Mini Emma – a waterproof wand massager that will bring you climax after climax thanks to its strong vibrating head. Try LovingJoy’s Versa vibrator if you want to embark on the hunt for your G-spot (it bends to your will so can reach those untapped areas) or strengthen those orgasms with a pair of Blush Novelties Double O Kegel Balls.

Lelo Ora II


Once you’ve found your sexual hotspots and the toys or techniques that arouse them, try heightening the whole experience. Set the scene with some candles, a soft blanket and a sexy playlist to get your juices flowing (there are tons ready to go on Spotify if you need some inspiration). The right mood can really help your mind switch off, which makes focusing on your body so much easier. The more your relax and zone in on how things feel, the more intense your pleasure will be.

Also, don’t forget to try different positions. Switch from your back to your front, try spreading your legs wide, go on your side, flip over to doggy – the position can change the way you touch yourself so it’s worth experimenting with that too.

Remember, there are no rules when it comes to masturbation. Just keep on exploring to find what rocks your world, because everyone deserves earth-shattering orgasms.

Written by Claire Blackmore, @cla_ireb

The 12 Types of Orgasms Women Experience

The 12 Types of Orgasms Women Experience

and where to go searching for them

You body is capable of experiencing some incredible and mind-blowing sensations. But if you get off in the same way each time you have sex or masturbate – or you can’t orgasm at all – it might be fun to take yourself on a sensual adventure.

Sex experts believe there are up to 12 types of orgasm, due to the fact that different areas of the body feel erotic for different people. Some are super-common, like the clitoral and G-spot, while others are more mystical – think U-spot, cervical and mind.

It’s also unclear whether or not these climax types feel different from each other. Although researchers are still studying the body and the brain’s orgasmic connection, the feeling different orgasms produce is still a bit of an enigma – which makes it all the more exciting to go exploring, right?

So with that in mind, here are the rumoured sweet spots – and where to find them.

The clitoral orgasm

Good news, people. Almost everyone with a clitoris is capable of having a clitoral orgasm. It’s the most common way to climax due to its whopping 8,000 nerve endings so if you don’t already know where it is, go find it immediately.

The G-spot orgasm

Some believe the G-spot is a myth but for a reported 30% of women, it’s the erogenous zone that causes them to orgasm just through penetration. The mystical ‘Graffernberg spot’ supposedly lives above the front vaginal wall and feels spongy to the touch. If you find it and it feels good, happy stroking!

The U-spot orgasm

Who would have thought you could climax from your wee hole? Yep, stimulation of the urethra can bring on an orgasm. The hole is actually surrounded by the clitoris, which is a lot bigger than most people think. When touched right, blood rushes to the opening and fluid gushes out – better known as squirting.

The A-spot orgasm

The A-spot, sometimes known as the ‘deep spot’, is your inner vaginal zone – the anterior fornix. Like the G-spot, it’s located on the front wall of your vagina but higher up towards the belly-button. Rumour has it this hotspot is the most intense orgasm on the menu.

The nipplegasm

A nipplegasm is – you guessed it – when you climax solely through breast and nipple touch. Studies have found that nipple stimulation activates the same part of the brain as clitoral or vaginal touch. Some people love the sensation, others don’t, so just do what works for you.

The mindgasm

Ever had a wet dream? Then you’ve had a mind orgasm. You brain is the biggest sex organ you own and can provoke the Big O without any kind of touch whatsoever. If you want to try this type when you’re awake, delve into your deepest fantasies.

The anal orgasm

Like anal play? Then you might already know it’s possible to orgasm from anal stimulation. There are two magic nerves around the area – the pelvic and pudendal – which touched in a certain way can bring on the climax. Just make sure you break out the lube for this one!

The cervical orgasm

This type of orgasm is like the nipplegasm in the same way that it sparks the same area of the brain that’s stimulated by the vagina and the clitoris. A cervical orgasm requires pretty deep penetration though, so only go for it if it feels pleasurable.

The oral orgasm

Ever had a deep, heated snog and felt a delicious swirl inside your pelvis? Chances are you could be part of the 20% of women who can orgasm through kissing. It makes sense seeing as though the lips are 100 times more sensitive than fingers.

The blended orgasm

Blended orgasms can be super-intense because you’re climaxing from different parts of your body all at once. The most common blends? A hot mix of clitoral, G-spot, anal and nipple stimulation. It’s definitely one to try with your partner – or multiple sex toys.

The erogenous zone orgasm

Love the nape of your neck or the small of your back being stroked? Try having a zone orgasm. It’s where you focus on the areas that you find erogenous – ones that don’t include the usual suspects (the clitoris, the vagina).

The multiple orgasm

The unicorn of orgasms has got to be the multiple. They hit you one right after the other, with no time to catch your breath in between. Multis can take some practice and tend to happen if you know your body well, or if you’re super-orgasmic. Give it a try by re-applying pressure to the same spot that gave you your first orgasm.

The absent orgasm

No, this isn’t a secret number 13, but it’s super-important to mention. Research suggests that between 10% to 20% of women have never experienced an orgasm. A recent social media survey by gal pal found that 92% of the 140 Instagram followers who voted said they could ONLY orgasm through clit stimulation. So let’s not ignore the fact that for some of us, it feels truly impossible to climax at all. If this is you, don’t worry. Chances are you can, you just haven’t been able to yet. What better reason to stock up on sex toys and start experimenting? We will be sharing more content on this topic over the next few months, so look out for that!

Written by Claire Blackmore, @cla_ireb